Big Difference!!

Thirsty for happiness :/

MY HEART HAS NO ROOM FOR LOVE

Trapped in my pass...feel like i was sentenced to life in jail....

stuck in this prison, no optimism..no love in the air

Ain't no getting out, until I'm 6 feet underground

Wish i could get a fresh start or a new round

What are my options?..saying goodbye to my future

This bitch of a life..can some please fix her

I cry all day..i cry all night..

when is this shit gonna be done..
correction i mean done right

Its like i wake up in da morning but 

still sleeping ...nun to forward to Therefore cheesing 

Wish i could rewrite my life and take you out of it

I shoulda known better from the start i shoulda dipped


Suffocating myself..should suffocate you..
After all the stress and drama you put me through .
Felt ma heart breaking but instead i broke through...
Ain't no egg cracking...nigga i'll turn ya face blue


If imma try to get out..then imma make the best of it...
Forgetting all ya'll dirty niggas..forgetting all ya'll local bitch.
Shit hectic out here..
juss need ma 4 quarters..no pennies to spare


So what you waiting for...fuck outta ma life..
don't care if you've been there before.
Getting ma shit together... theres the door
I'm up and gone don't bout you no mo

TRAUMATIZED

Think i might be scared for the rest of my life....:'(

I try to forget certain things..but it just seem impossible..i tried...but knowing I'm not happy inside...is just damaging me from inside out...

Every time i  try to get myself together.. something happens to hold me back.. 

Every second of my day..i sit and wonder how someone could be so unfair..before i go to sleep..just the though of trusting certain boys..bring tears to my eyes ..and hurt all over ma body..

I realize getting over it will be the best thing....but its not that easy..it will take some time..

I refuse to tell anyone but this specific topic..because..talking about it will not undo what has been done.

Until then I'm going to believe boys were not made to be my friends...and relationships are not for me.

GUY OF MY DREAMS

I'm not like the average girl...i can tell you that for sure..
I Don't want to be treated like no princess..but yet i don't wanna be pushed against the wall n slapped...no i don't ..I just wanna be comfortable with u or around u....make me want to see u..stay with you..don't make me scared me don't push me away..
Find your comfort zone then find ours...Don't tell me you love me...but don't make me ask u...make me tell myself you do and believe it....don't make me question it.
Don't tell me you miss me>>let me see it in your eyes..let me feel like everyday is my fist time meeting you..
Let me go to sleep knowing i wont have a reason to be depressed the next morning..Let me have a reason to back track and state my reason for living..
I don't wanna be perfect with you...i just want both of us to be happy..
I don't wanna hear aww from my surrounding..i wanna hear ma mom say don't ever let him go.
I don't wanna marry you on Facebook..i don't want a ring on my finger..i don't wanna see or speak to you everyday..Just make me long for you..
I don't want you to give up ya video games..or ya  boy time fa me..i just want you to make time fa me..
That is all i ask for ...the average girl would've asked fa way more...but this is all i ask for...And don't say I'm asking for alot ...n i giving nothing back ... Trust me if i get all that..in return...anything you want..i'll give it all back.
Wait but the question is...Who is "YOU"?
Called the guy of my dreams....because apparently that's the only place i'll find you.

Need someone to take me out of this funk...this depressing attitude is make me being sick of being sick..

LOVE fail!!

Don't see the purpose of love if i never get any...yes i am jealous ..I'm human rite!!
People who get it abuse it ...n people who want it...even tears won't make em get it..smh..
Wait i just always chase the wrong...person...well my chasing days r ova..giving up my baton!..i quit the race..!! 
If i don't love myself who do i expect to love me?

Y

LOVING YOU IS REALLY THAT IS ON MY MIND....BUT THAT SHIT IS JUST  IMPOSSIBLE... 
wish you would change that..wait...you don't know..even if you do you wouldn't care

Scared..Yes I Am

Wait tuh...should i be scared....yes bitch I'm scared but ...I'm not scared of you...I'm scared of ya face.. 
its crazy cause your mom said your so ugly ..wen u was born she some looked at your dad n said dam i should have just gave u  head ...

4 WISHES

~I wish...I wish...I wish...I wish dis bitch would~

                                                                                                         ...You A Stupid Hoe

That feeling

That feeling....When u don't know if telling the truth is gonna hurt you more than telling A lie..:/
When you feel like that person don't deserve to be told the truth
When you feel telling the lie will make u happy .. until you realize your happiness will come to an end soon...
Just gonna keep ma mouth shut....Speak no lie...tell no truth...Don't know what will happen..
But on the other hand keeping shit to yourself/secrets..will just make the situation worst...lies or truth don't destroy a friendship.. suspicions do...
So type confuse... either way..imma loose in this situation...but imma loose in a positive way..the truth imma say

LET GO LET GOD!!

TRUE SHIT

Its a bad thing when someone you love start ignoring  you....but its worst when ...you have to act like you don't care..

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces. 

Either i need some serious attitude adjustment or...everyone around me just have a stank attitude for no reason...or maybe I'm over reacting...
NAHHH>> i don't think it me..i tired to work on myself...matter a fact i did...but everyone still acting stank attitude ...

Just A Random Thought

So lately I've been having suicidal  thoughts... :/

And to make it worst i feel like i have no one to talk to..wait correction....<<<even though people say they care and that i can talk to them!...i don't believe and their always quick to judge.

I need to be surrounded by positive people...because right now I'm going through a lot...it might not show ...but i am.

They say "EVERYTHING HAPPEN FOR A REASON" 

^^To be honest i feel like there is no reason for what I'm facing<<if there was it would have came to me already, But I'm waiting patiently hoping this will prove me wrong.

Since i feel like I'm surrounded by negativity ...i try to stay positive, so i made videos of myself when i happy stating all the reasons i should stay positive and happy in-case of times like these.

ACCEPT THE FACT...#TRUE SHIT

Now i know where i stand... couldn't  explain this shit any better....lol

rite?

Which are you?

Facebook Post

Thee last post i saw on Facebook...i automatically made a connection to.

"Im always going after something that's not gonna work out ! Atleast I try !"

I so feel like this post was written by me because at the moment i was really thinking the same thing...what a coincident ...i guess god wanted me to see that im not the only one feeling like that

ACCOMPLISHED!!!

FEELING LONELY!! "Y"?

ONE OF THOSE DAYS!!

When you feel like you the center of attention that you don't want...

You try to ignore it...and end up hiding in the bathroom crying.. -__-

Feeling like doing some next suicidal shit....that's not my intention...but hay...don't we all have those day...right! or is it just me

... I feel like everything you say is directed towards <<<negatively....so i think about that shit..It don't bother me

what the fuck I'm a girl....of course the shit bothers me....but as usual imma ignore it....until it burns ma heart and ...and disrupt my face...and happiness <<<<YEA RIGHT.

Boutta say fuck it...fuck everyone life...

#Random>>i don't trust none.....i smile ....and i know what to say to people ...always have one eyes open....because everyone is trying to have their one second fame.

TEENAGER!!

Being a teenager...pretty much mean
^^^^your too young for half the things you want to do...
^^^^or your too old to do the other half..
LIFE

Most of the problems in life are
because of two reasons:

1st:
we act without thinking..

2nd:
we keep on thinking without acting..

This is how i be feeling half the time....like a dumb-ass..tuh

Greatest Pleasure In Life...>>>>>Doing What Everyone Say You Couldn't do!!

DEPRESSED >>2012..!!:(

Smh

I use to get excited every time you call or i speak to...

until i realize...

every time i do..its just giving me another reason to not smile

but every time i don't..

i feel heart broken all over again

~i was just born to be unhappy....

^^^^^^^^don't think i can change that~

#DUBB

We all know he a player...SMH

sadly all i was trying to do was .....

you know ...to be the girl that make him quit the 

....the game and hang his jersey up...

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I Miss Your Smile, 

But I Miss Mines Even More!!!

FACT

Its not that i want to be the only girl i your life,

i just  want to be .......

the only one that matter, or the one that matters most!

I sorry I'm a sucker for this hopeless romantic, bullshit

You never realize how much you like someone, until you watch them like someone else!

They only care when you die!!

New year ..New you..Same old me...stressing ova the simplest shit
:'(

I try my hardest...to make u smile....by putting one on my face...even in my worst times ever....
Never really talk to anyone about my real problem....i say a little and im judge..imaging if i said it all..
but it ok...that what my blog is for..:)
I understand ya'll all say i can talk to ya'll bout everything....but its not as easy as it seem

YOU

Yes i miss you...but i mean...what can i do...

....the most i can do is be there for u..

in time of stress

i mean....i guess!

Secrets, secrets Lies, lies ..She sits in her room,
cries and cries.
There's no more trust ..In this girl's heart.
She finally found out ..That life isn't perfect.
She lived in her dreams..As some often do...But she crawled out
Into the world everyone knew.
Things that once were.. Happiness once known;
The truth of it all..To her was shown
Her tortured heart..Will never trust again.
She'll never know ..A real true friend.
No more trust,For no more lies.
She'll sit in her room
And cry and cry.

TRUST

You should trust people by their actions and not their words, Because a person might have the heart of a gold...
But then again...so does and egg!

~The feeling that I'm sacrificing something for someone....who in their eyes I'm invisible~

Not A Good Feeling :(

Love mean nothing to me no more...

LOST AND FOUND

If u had something good and you throw it away...someone will find it...n treat it better>>which will only scar you for life

"One mans trash is another mans treasure."

SEARCHING FOR REASONS

You always give me a reason...

> a reason to stay up every night
>a reason to keep a smile on my face
>a reason to say i care
>a reason i wake up and choose to go school
>a reason to feel like I'm not alone
>a reason to say i miss u
>a reason to....so much things

But for some reason..I'm trying to find the real reason for the few remaining!

>y i like u
 >y i think about you
>y I'm staring to care about you
>y do i feel different than before
>what changed
 
I don't think these last 5 question remain unanswered, i think I'm forcing my self not to believe the real reason.
And out of all of the reasons i so call don't know,!!...the biggest one is "Why do i force myself to not believe the real reason".
You might answer these question and at the end put a "duhh"....and if you do that then that's because you have no idea what I'm facing, but if you have these questions for yourself, you couldn't find your answer, but some how you did...please let me know the steps you take in answering these questions.

 BTW>>>>> WHO ARE YOU? << NEXT TOPIC :)
 

:(

Confuse as fuck....feel like crying....:(
feel like dis is just how its suppose to be...>I'm never suppose to be happy at all...
i guess...but i end up like dis because ..I'm too nice..
always putting people before myself..smfh
give 99% to 100 people n get back .5% back from 6 add up together ..
its ight though....i rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies..
because the 100 pennies i have i loose them one by one until they all disappear with me having no idea where they go..pennies r suppose to be something u pick up when 1 is all u need...don't think i will ever need one thought...because ma 4 quarters r easier to find...even though the 4quarters run out faster than the pennies do...i must admit at-least i be knowing where the quarters go....than to one day find 1 of ma pennies on the street..
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