Topaz

As soon as i open up to people..mostly boys i tend to get hurt..so i close my eyes n ears..and shut down my heart
When i speak the truth it backfires on me...n when i don't say nothing i still backfires..
Everyone claims they understand me....or try to figure me out
but word of advice don't study me you'll go crazy

#RANDOM

No matter how happy i am ...when i listen to Chris Brown i start crying..

I refuse to live by the book ya'll wrote on my life,
but what i will do is write my own story as i journey through my life!

:)

Thank God i am able to see another beautiful day that he has created...:)
Great mood *7:38 a.m Monday  February 27 2012*..
I hope to be safe throughout this day..n everyone else..
Q.O.T.D
THINK LIKE A WINNER AND YOU WILL BE ONE!!

FYI

YOUR AGE DOESN'T DETERMINE YOUR LEVEL OF MATURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That Feeling!!

*That feeling....when you talk to one of your friends about someone you hate...and few days later they are best friends....i know I'm not the only girl who feels like that's a sense of betrayal..Then you think to yourself ....they probably talking about me...smh
*That feeling ...when your sitting next to too other people and they whisper and you have that feeling they talkin about you.

Keyana Cumberbatch Walters 

Lol she bipolar, she probably won't admit it but she is....that's why she understands me..because it takes one to know one :)

For some reason she pushes me to do better without even saying it. Just seeing her accomplish her goals motivate me. She's smart..pretty and different but most of all she is one of my closest friends..

Sometime i wonder how i put up with her crap then i realize she put up with mine..a lot of people don't<<<thankx

I hope as we grow older we still remain close..because i can't afford to loose another friend ..

Luv :*

I give myself reasons to smile and reasons to cry

Color me Love and Happiness

Before I Turn 17!!

Dear God
My birthday is exactly 8 days from now *1:10..2/23/2012 Thursday*
I was born on March 2nd 1995>>yes i am young
Throughout my 16 years on earth i am proud to say i never took crack even though most people think i do 
*I'm naturally crazy*
I never got in a fight for something ridiculous ..like over a boy..lol
Even though those were somethings i never did...i don't regret saying i made some really fucked up decisions..well not all of it was completely my fault..
I lost one of my closest friends Daja..not completely ma fault but no one wanna be the bigger person.i guess..
I separated my self from half the people in my life...and lots more..but everything happen for a reason.


Well enough of the past...before i turn 17 i wanna
... make shit right with those who i fucked up
...get my life together mentally physically and emotionally
...lastly i wanna make shit right with me
So when i wake up on march 2nd *which i hope i do* i am able to breath ..say thank you lord..n proceed with my day without thinking of things i could did to make my day better...or any regrets.. :)
                                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                Sincerly Topaz

Bruno Mars

there'd be no sun light if i loose you baby...wait...who am i loosin?...lol 
Don't ask y i laugh..lately nun seem to be goin rite no matta how much i try..sitting here waitin fa someone to pull me up...not knowing i gotta pull ma self up....

I need A hero

Fighting to keep something ...something that was never there since the start...feel like i was blind or dreaming the entire time...n when i finally wake back up to face the truth...its too hard to handle..i been broke...so every little thing that happen now seem to affect me..and the first thing i do cancel everything..lock up and cry.

:(..

All my life i prayed for someone like you...
and when you came...u showed my to accept reality...
nothing will be perfect...dreams will remain a dream...
you have to make reality into something you want it to be
and stop hoping your dream will come true

We All Know Shes Weird...Let Her Be!!

The Breaking Point

Dear Blue,

Never new this is how is woulda felt..

cried for a day str888888 ....no communication with anyone...

dark room..with my pillow soaking with tears..

I stare  at my ceiling hoping for the impossible...

suicidal thoughts running through my head...

thinking to myself.. trying to stay positive..but i lack motivation

Felt like everyone of my siblings birth was a choice ...

but mines was just a mistake my family have to live with...

WHY WAS I BORN AND MY REASON FOR LIVING?..

the question got old...i give up on things becoming better..

i give up on everyone in my life at this point..

feel like i'm about to give myself.....my life...

feel like i'm living my life...but its not for me..

like i'm holding on to something that let go long time ago..

hoping for someone to save me from my life..

but my wait is over.... no one seem to understand me situation enough to pull me out

..i smile i think everything is OK and i done forgot about it until the tear hit the floor

..then it all come back to me..there is no ending until my life is over...

its like a book there will always be that page..unless you burn the book..

i always wanna keep this shit in because i feel if i let it out...everyone will consider it  my weakness...

but maybe that weakness is the key to my life being...normal!!.

let take a shot..my life cannot get any worst!!

Sincerely  BROKEN!!

I like hearing ..... BUT I LOVE YOU rather than I LOVE YOU BUT.....!!

I like hearing ..... BUT I LOVE YOU rather than I LOVE YOU BUT.....!!

#FAIL

Having a relationship with someone and have them as a friend on Facebook....one of the worst thing a human being could do to their life!..

A jealous girl can do a better investigation better than the FBI so just be know!!

FairyTale is for stories ..Reality is pAin

Secretos Para No Ser Visto(☆_☆):

:)

The Impossible

Searching for reality in my dreams!!

prepare for the worst!!

I don't know a lot.. but the little i do know..i make use of it

If you listen to what everyone around you have to say and don't listen to yourself...i promise you you will spend everyday of your life crying..and not knowing the real reason behind anything...be a man..fuck the he say she say..make a few changes..>>sit down and observe..<<you will be surprised what takes place in your surrounding.

Don't do it!

Follow your mind not your heart...because your heart will mess with you and leave you heart broken...!!!!!!!..on the other hand your mind give you reasons and options..while your heart give you one choice..>>which is>>fall in love. 

really??!

-when you feel like everyone's your friend only wen they need something done!! -__-...people starting to take my kindness for granted.......done being nice everyone ..i don't care who you are!!!

QOTN

"NOTHING IS PLANNED OUT FOR YOU....ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU WERE BORN INTO SOMETHING...AND YOU HAVE A CHOICE WHETHER YOU WANT TO CHANGE WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE.."

FAKE!!

Trying to pretend I'm OK....putting on a smile on my face....better yet a grin >>>.....feel like I'm holding my pee....but i could only hold it only for a certain amount of hours...and when i get into my room....i let it all out on my pillow in the dark..-_-(tears)
^^who am i staying strong for??... because i think....i know!!  i lost myself in my past...Don't think i could go back there and find what rightfully belong to me..because i would just be hurting myself twice >>back to back

Tired of crying myself to sleep .....my face burn like crazy....its  starting to make a gutter space for my tears to run down.

2/1/2012

My heart beating so hard and fast...i feel like some is fucking..dancing inside of me....
My body is on fucking fire tho -__-....so much shit on ma mind...dead feel like I'm about to  pass out...n nobody here...dis dead some serious shit...like wtf
Don't ask me how i have time to write thus...juss in-case anything happen to me you'll know what it is...