The Breaking Point

Dear Blue,

Never new this is how is woulda felt..

cried for a day str888888 ....no communication with anyone...

dark room..with my pillow soaking with tears..

I stare  at my ceiling hoping for the impossible...

suicidal thoughts running through my head...

thinking to myself.. trying to stay positive..but i lack motivation

Felt like everyone of my siblings birth was a choice ...

but mines was just a mistake my family have to live with...

WHY WAS I BORN AND MY REASON FOR LIVING?..

the question got old...i give up on things becoming better..

i give up on everyone in my life at this point..

feel like i'm about to give myself.....my life...

feel like i'm living my life...but its not for me..

like i'm holding on to something that let go long time ago..

hoping for someone to save me from my life..

but my wait is over.... no one seem to understand me situation enough to pull me out

..i smile i think everything is OK and i done forgot about it until the tear hit the floor

..then it all come back to me..there is no ending until my life is over...

its like a book there will always be that page..unless you burn the book..

i always wanna keep this shit in because i feel if i let it out...everyone will consider it  my weakness...

but maybe that weakness is the key to my life being...normal!!.

let take a shot..my life cannot get any worst!!

Sincerely  BROKEN!!